For grandparents of toddlers
Why Grandparents Are Done Buying Toys for the Donate Box (6 Gifts They Give Instead)
You deserve to know the truth.
By Ray Porter · Last updated October 2, 2026 · 4 minute read
The short version: The light-up toy gets one week. Then it's in the donate box, and the tablet takes over again. They're only this little for a few Christmases.
Here is what your daughter in law wants to tell you but can't and its secretly ruining the relationship you have with her and your toddler aged grandkids.
It's not because you are a bad grandmother, its because she never told you what a good gift looks like.
I am here to tell you the best type of gift that she will thank you for.
The March test
The best gift is the one still being used in March.
Where the Christmas toys go by March
Most toys retire in a week and are in the garage by spring or regifted.
Remember, you are buying for her, not your grandchild, and the light up alphabet board? It doesn't give her 5 minutes of peace so it ends up in the pile.
The fix is to gift something your grandkids can do with their own hands, because that gets used every morning.
The posters on the wall so she can finish her breakfast. The busy book that lives in the car so she isn't reaching back to calm them down.
Last year I thanked my mother in law for exactly two gifts. Both are on this list. Six gifts, with what to say when you hand each one over.
1My First Busy Book · ages 3 to 5
The back-seat tablet dies mid-drive, with Mom at the wheel. The busy book that lives in the car so she isn't reaching back to calm them down.
Why it wins
14 activities in one book: letters, numbers, colors, feelings, the weather and the days of the week. No battery to die.
It comes 100% pre-assembled, so it goes from the wrapping paper straight to the car seat.
What to say when you hand it over
"This one lives in the car. Keep it by their seat for every trip."
2Preschool Head Start Kit · 16 posters
Toys in a bin are forgotten by February. This one is for Mom. The posters on the wall so she can finish her breakfast.
Why it wins
16 posters, 11 by 17 inches: the alphabet, numbers, days of the week, weather, shapes, feelings and more.
Laminated for spills and sticky fingers. They go up once, and there is nothing to put away and forget.
What to say when you hand it over
"These go up by the breakfast table. Next time I visit, I want to hear what day it is."
3My First Bible Busy Book · ages 3 to 5
Beeping toys turn heads in the church pew. This one is quiet, and every page is a Bible activity.
Why it wins
15 Bible activities, from Noah's Ark to Daniel in the Lion's Den. 152 pieces, already assembled.
The stories you grew up on, in their hands every Sunday.
What to say when you hand it over
"This one's for church. It's all put together, so you don't have to do a thing."
49 Christian Posters
The light-up toy is in the donate box by March. The Lord's Prayer never gets outgrown.
Why it wins
9 posters, 11 by 14 inches: the Lord's Prayer, the Fruit of the Spirit, the Armor of God, God's promises and more.
Your faith on their wall, long after the decorations come down.
What to say when you hand it over
"These are for their wall. I'd love to hear the Lord's Prayer next time we talk."
5Search & Find Kit · ages 3 to 7
The one-trick toy is done after one play. This one wipes clean and starts over.
Why it wins
24 search and find pages, erasable and reusable.
Wipe a page and it's ready to go again, so there is no reason for it to hit the donate box.
What to say when you hand it over
"This one stays at my house. We'll do a page together every time you visit."
6Fine Motor Activity Kit · the sticker book
At the restaurant table, the screen wins by default. Unless over 600 stickers get there first.
A 2024 JAMA Pediatrics study found that for every extra minute of screen time, a 3-year-old hears about 7 fewer adult words.
Why it wins
It comes with scenes to fill and coloring pages to match. Every minute on stickers is a minute off the screen.
What to say when you hand it over
"This one's for the restaurant table, and it never needs charging."
Nobody writes home about a toy in the donate box. Here is what parents wrote about these.
About My First Busy Book
★★★★★Reviews
"It comes already put together which deserves 5 stars alone!"
A parent, in their own words
About the Preschool Head Start Kit
★★★★★Reviews
"One of my favorite parts is the emotions poster. My daughter is only 2, and she's still learning how to express herself, but now she can point to a face to show me how she's feeling."
A parent, in their own words
About My First Bible Busy Book
★★★★★Reviews
"I love how it's already assembled and the velcro is already attached and done for me!"
A parent, in their own words
Becca, founder of Hadley DesignsBecca is a former teacher, a homeschooling mom of four, and an artist.
Before one more toy goes in your cart this Christmas, start with the gifts that will still be out in March.
Made it to the end? Then you are done buying for the donate box.
Holiday gifting 2026One for every grandchild
Pick their kits on the next page. If it is not getting used within 90 days, you get a full refund.
The next page starts you with My First Busy Book, the Preschool Head Start Kit and a Handwriting Travel Kit. Tap any kit to swap it.
See all 12 kits
- My First Busy Book
- Preschool Head Start Kit
- 9 Christian Posters
- Search & Find Kit
- Fine Motor Activity Kit
- Calming Corner Kit
- Letters & Numbers Posters
- Morning Habit Builder
- Math Posters
- 12 Spanish Posters
- Handwriting Travel Kit
- Grooved Handwriting Kit
Questions grandparents ask
What if it doesn't get used?
If it isn't getting used within 90 days, you get a full refund. Email hello@hadleydesigns.com with your order number.
Can I send it straight to their house?
Yes, when the kits are all going to one house. Each order ships to one address, so put theirs in at checkout, or send the kits to your house and hand them out yourself. We cannot ship to P.O. Boxes.
What ages are these for?
The busy books are made for ages 3 to 5, and the Search & Find book for ages 3 to 7.
How long does shipping take?
Orders are processed within 1 to 3 business days, then standard shipping takes 5 to 7 business days.
You have two choices this Christmas
Buy another toy that gets one week and a spot in the donate box. Or give the gift built to still be out in March.
Only one of those gets you the thank-you.
Get every grandchild's gift done in one orderP.S. If you are the daughter in law reading this, screenshot this list and send it to grandma before the Christmas shopping starts.
This is an advertorial page published by Hadley Designs. Becca is the founder of Hadley Designs and a former teacher. Stories on this page are representative. Quotes on this page are from Hadley Designs customer reviews. Product images are from the Hadley Designs store. Nothing on this page is developmental advice.